Secret of a Sacrifice

A word glorified in todays world and yet grossly misunderstood . Leaders sacrificing thier families for the nation . A mother putting her child above everything else .
Not that generation present, does not know , how to sacrifice . Infact i believe there are more sacrifices done in todays world , as choices and options increase.
A mother's love is considered unparallel and generally assosciated with loads of sacrifices , so let me try make sense ,using her .She is making a pizza for her son , knowing that its her son's favourite .She dislikes making them and isnt too happy eating them as well .She misses her sanskrit classes/bhajan/tele-serial to make a pizza .If you ask her , she would say , "anything for my son's happiness".She definetley isnt lying .She does not expect the son to give her back money nor is she expecting another pizza in return .The son comes home from school ,starts munching the pizza.Mom sits and enjoys seeing him eat .The ultimate aim of the mother was to see happiness in the sons eyes or is it ?
Aim of the mother was to feel happy ,period .Its just that for her ,seeing happiness in her son, brought her most joy .You might ask , "how does that make a difference ?"
It does because there is a condition and an expectation .Incase the boy's reaction was negative , a mom with an expectation would feel very down , seeing all her toil and sacrifice at a loss .

Increasingly,the difference nowadys is that, we are driven to please people around, rather than please oneself .Sacrifices ,nowadays is to gain acceptance in the society, even if that means that it destroys ones own principles . Far too often , we hear husbands/wives saying that they have done so many sacrifices, for the sake of the other, little realizing it is ,not for the other , but for both of them collectively.
Having no expectations is probably impossible ,to realise the secret of a sacrifice however is probable .

Its never for You , its for Me , at the least ,for Us .

ladies and gentlemen

This particular blog is just my curiosity on the subject . Inspired to think of it , after reading one of my friend's blog .
Loads of things have been written on men and women .Thier differences, likes and dislikes .

Back in the school days , we used to have a PT period(Physical Training). All of us would be waiting for the bell to ring and experience 45 mins of non-stop excitement. In our case , it used to be football and i got to admit , was not very good at it . I guess girls looked forward to this 45 mins as well .But for some strange reason, they rarely put thier foot on the field or do anything remotely related to physical. Yes their were exceptions , and I found it easier to accept them as normal human beings . We were fortunate for our school to be in a middle of a forest and it suited girls ,who would sit under the trees and gossip ( am guessing) .
i found it quite hard to understand why ladies take so much time , to make themselves presentable .Got to give it to them for being so patient in this aspect . Maybe part of the blame is to do with guys . Maybe we cant stand looking at them , if they arent !!

Obviously there are many cons to men as well .But am in no mood to write about it . :)

Heroes to Villains

I saw this film MNIK recently and I liked the part were SRKs mom draws 2 stick figures ,one holding a stick menacingly and the other offering a sweet.After doing so , she asks a young SRK to find out which religion they belong to and explains that its about good or bad people rather than religion or caste.Its quite straightforward but yet difficult to accept .Taking this forward .
"If there is one thing people like more than heroes , is to bring the hero down ."from Hercules.Many people that I know ,do not like Gandhi .People cite the reason that India wouldnt have split and he favoured certain factions ,personal agendas etc .All those stuff might or maybe true .What we have forgotten though ,that he has done certain things that normal mortals wouldnt dream to do .Having said that , he is still human and just because he has done some outstanding things,doesnt mean he is god . .We are not able to accept that even good people are entiled to do wrong actions .The other way round is when people badged bad ,tend to get blamed even if they do something good .
On a very personal level, this happens among friends and family .Quite often, best friends turn into deadly enemies ,in a moment of madnes from either or both of them ,forgeting all the good that they enjoyed to gether .Its not that we accept everything ,even if its wrong .Its just that we need to be aware,that after all we are human.And To err is human , but it sometimes feels divine :)

For the Moment

The power of goals .Haven't we come across this often enough nowadays.Every vendor selling a book in the pavement, has at least a dozen books about goal setting and positive thinking.The idea of things coming true due to constant thoughts in the mind is indeed fascinating ..But off late , i was getting the feeling that it sometimes disturbs us if not used in the right way

We all have different dreams.Lets take work .Many of us ,do not like the current job that we are in and are in constant search for what we call a dream company .Depending on the line of work , it can be ranging from a Microsoft to Google , Intel to AMD, Cisco to Juniper ,Ferrari or a Lotus,Docomo to Verizon .I have heard many good and wonderful reviews about google so I am taking that as an example .Lets say I have a goal of working for Google and i do the steps of writing and believing that I am working in Google .Eventually I become a google employee (this really works).

But until i become an employee , everyday I remember the goal and every time i remind myself of the goal, a small part of me is both sad, as well as impatient.It reminds me that I am not in the dream organisation currently .The moment i think of google , i feel incomplete. Its as if i will be happy only if I get into Google or Ferrari or Intel.In the end , we might get work in our dream companies ,but are we happy during the process ?

Its as if we are always hoping and living for some moment in the future .We are always working for a life that would make us happy in times to come .What we don't realise , is when the time comes , there is some other dream ,waiting to disturb us .Many of us live for the future all the time ,forgetting that there is happiness in the present .Agreed goals are important and without them , we would be quite aimless .But we also need to remind ourselves what we actually want .Its not the goal that we seek , but the happiness in achieving the goal .In the race to achieve the goal , lets not forget why we are trying to achieve the goal . My goal was to write a Post this month and what I seek is happiness knowing that there are people who are reading it ;)
One of my all time favourites from Kung Fu Panda "Yesterday is history , tomorrow is a mystery , today is a gift ,that is why it is called PRESENT"

Dont talk about that .........

I wish I can re-live my school days or some special momment.Immediately for a few seconds ,our facial expression changes as if we are really there .We experience the joy ,but invariably , it ends in a bit of pain .Pain knowing that the momment is no longer yours .Most of the time , through each stage of life .There are some people whom we hate .We say." i hope that brat gets what he deserves .He did such a terrible thing . I shall never forgive him ".

Some of us dont stop there ."Hope some one does something even worse to him .He/she will get hit by a lorry and die ",curses are endless.Irony is ,invariably there is nothing dramatic that happens to the cursed(i hope so , incase i am in this list) .

When we ask ourselves , the names of our greatest friends .Images of close friend and family flash in our mind and incase we ask the same about emenies .Chances are that this list is twice as big.

And unfortunately , we know remembering has side effects.Each time you remember ,you not only remmember the person, but his/her deeds as well .The mind reminds, just how you were victimised, how you felt pain ,sorrow and we feel the pain as if it has just happened .Then we say it again . I will never forgive him.Dont talk about that guy.

Our enemy caused pain ONCE.But we RE-LIVE the pain a million times and giving oursleves pain a million times.By not forgiving , we our giving ourselves ,nill chance of forgetting past nightmares.

To forgive , helps the person who forgives more than the person being forgiven .By forgiving , we are giving us a chance of forgetting .

Besides everyone deserves a second chance (even me ).

Ssh ...Dont tell anyone this !

You Know WHat ....this guy.. and thats all it takes to start a nice topic and it can go on for ages .Or my favourite statement "Dont tell anyone this ok , " .What a paradoxical phrase , The momment this statment is heard , you can be quite sure that there is a rumor waiting to spread like wild fire.
The wonderfull part of this is , it is almost always about someone elses personal life, most of whom they have never met or talked to .The society today in which we live ,craves to hear about people , especially if they are messed up in something .The sad part is ,if someone is not messed up ,there are magazines and newspapers ready to do it for them .
Any idea , why we dont gossip anything positive .Starting from school , when friends gossip saying"Hey , this guy smokes in the school" to college "this girl goes around with everyone"to office "This guy , he doesnt work ,but gets promtion because he is in the good books of the manager".The primary reason why these are being said , is not to insult the person , its for the person himself to feel good .The egos of a person always tries to compare itself to everything and everyone around it. He/she feels superior after putting down another person .The ego of the person feels big , when it makes the other person look small.Remember this before criticising :-No One is perfect is another way of saying everyone has flaws .

On a lighter note , there is an interesting phrase describing Gossip in Wikepedia "a person, mostly a woman, one who delights in idle talk." Interesting aint it?

Ego and some of its forms

She has an ego because, she is beautiful. He has an ego because he is rich.Notice that the ego associates itself in these words to make the individual feel big about himself/herself.People get really wild and uncontrollable when they have an argument(at least I do this). It is because, the ego of these individuals is not able to take it when the other ego is suppressing it (remember ego ,likes to grow big). That's why if you see in most arguments there is never a winner , on second thoughts there is always a winner , the Ego.
There are some others who make fun of themselves and enjoy it .The actual intent in some of these people is to hurt themselves ,before others get a chance .A defence mechanism to protect the ego.Lets take physical appearance as a way in trying to understand this .Some people are not gifted in terms of height .They would say , if only i was more taller or fairer or thinner (list goes on) .What they expect is the friend to tell that they are wrong and he/she is actually tall enough or not that short.This way they avoid being mocked at and more importantly ,they give a chance for their ego to grow.Ego generally thrives in support and appreciation


The I, come to think of it is just another form of ego.The I always thinks its right and when someone opposes it or does not agree with it .It gets hurt and directs the individual to do something that will make himself/herself feel even bigger.

I have been hearing right from my childhood ,saying that middle class people are the people most likely to get more spiritual and religious or people with good moral values .This would make me feel privileged to an extent ,as I identified that I also fall into the same category .100s of reasons by family and friends saying that the poor people cant think of anything other than food and shelter ,planning for mere survival and the rich are easily corrupted by unwanted pleasures.This made sense to me and still makes to an extent . More and more I wonder , is it really true ? or is it because I,my friends and my family all identified ourselves to the middle class group ?I certainly havent heard any poor or rich person sharing the same sentiment.